Sandra Larkin

Rain, Rain, Go Away

2007-06-06T22:10:00.001-05:00

Yuck. Its been raining for days and that makes most of us feel yucky. Gray clouds. Wet roads. Damp places. What a better way to get our mood down and keep it there.

Up pops the sun and our attitudes goes up. Everything is brighter, clean and clear.

So what can we learn from Mr. Rain and Miss Sun.... whatever the weather you pick you mood and attitude. It's not easy and it takes a deliberate effort to stay in the sunny mode.

Just like in our life experiences rain doesn't last forever. Choose your mood and choose your outlook on what is your current circumstance. Sometimes we need to experience those rainy days to appreciate more of the sunny ones.

Sandra Larkin
http://www.sandralarkin.com/

Time With Mr. Rooney

2007-05-18T17:12:00.000-05:00

All of us feel overwhelmed during any given day or week with a multitude of tasks and events that call for our attention. Sometimes these can be negative and, if we're lucky, they can be positive also.

I had come home from a very hectic day which became a very hectic week feeling overwhelmed with alot of positive events that were taking place. The sum total of these kept my head swimming with a huge task list and thoughts of direction about my future. I changed clothes and retreated to my bed where I needed to lie down to think and do absolutely nothing for a while. A cool breeze blew in from the open window and Mr. Rooney, my 15" beagle, jumped on the bed and sat beside me. As I began to give him attention, I decided that I was only going to concentrate on being with him and let the rest of the day and week take care of itself at the appropriate time.

I spent time with Mr. Rooney realizing that even when things get rough we can retreat to a special place with our family, friends or pets and close out the multitude of task and responsibilities that loom upon us. We are all blessed with people, health or job that we can focus on to take away the negative and concentrate on the positive if only for a few moments.

My time with Mr. Rooney provided me with an opportunity to savor the moment and put into perspective what was ahead of me. I came away with a fresh perspective of not trying to design my future in a period of few hours but to remain quiet and agreeable so that the future takes care of itself.

Sandra Larkin
http://www.sandralarkin.com

Past To Present Monuments

2007-04-24T20:54:00.000-05:00

Wow, what a difference two years make.

I had an opportunity to revisit a few old business haunting places last week. Two years ago in these same locations, I was stressed out from the job and trying to manage an ongoing project with multiple vendors. In these same locations, business meeting and lunches were conducted with people that I loved working along side.

Fast forward two years later and I now own a successful business traveling the area and the U.S. with speaking, wellness and training engagements. Within one week, I revisited two of these locations with a fond memories (and not so fond) of the past but in a different aspect ... on my own terms.

When you have these defining moments in your life and career, they execute a monument to your past. The monument links your past to the present moment so you can understand where you were and how far you have come. For me, two monuments were erected for each place I visited. I realized that I am the same person I was two years ago but now with the drive, ambition and passion to succeed on my own terms.

I keep track of these monument's to remind me not only on where I came from but where I am today. The future is mine to choose. In a few more years, I hope to erect another monument in these same locations to measure my success on how far I have come and design a new plan for how far I want to go.

Sandra Larkin
http://www.sandralarkin.com/

Transitional Changes For Life and Career

2007-04-19T19:29:00.000-05:00

Everyday we work in a transitional state towards a new direction or from a current challenge. This can be transitioning from being ill to well, career change, marital status such as divorce or business growth and development. The way in which we approach these transitions is through flexibility. This will determine their success for the long term and produce attraction for more positive ones in the future.

I have been through a number of transitions over the past two years. I resigned a long term position and gave up a 20 year corporate career, created a successful business, right-sized my health by participating in a physical fitness boot camp and worked through the rough spots on discovering who I am and where I want to be. This process has taught me that I needed to stop making decisions based on what my preset boundaries where at the time. I learned to physically stop, plant my feet firmly, look at the opportunity, evaluate it with a new set of eyes and sometimes take a chance by risking the outcome.

If you watch a willow tree in a storm or when high winds blow, you will see that it remains flexible to move through its current chaotic state. When the wind blows, it moves in the same direction of the wind ultimately standing up right when the storm passes. Nature has its way of teaching us to move through these transitional periods of our life. Technically, they come and go with little negative impact we somehow seem to manifest in our own minds.

The next time a storm moves in where you live, take a look outside and watch nature move through the transition from sun to dark and back to sun again. You will see that nature remains consistent with its ability to weather the storm. As we move through the many phases of our life, look to nature to teach you that you can make good and sound decisions by remaining flexible, moving beyond your comfort zone and sometimes just taking a chance. You have everything it takes to make the wrong right and the positive even better consistently !

Sandra Larkin
www.sandralarkin.com

Gone Fishing

2007-04-14T06:48:00.000-05:00

I received a call from an "old" friend the other day. Someone I hadn't spoken to in a number of months. About 2 minutes into the conversation, I realized it was a "fishing expedition". In other words, a conversation that was initiated to gain information for the betterment of the caller. It's intention of keeping in touch was a false front to a bigger motive ... to gain FREE information so no payment is required. We have all been on the other ends of these calls. They are obvious unlike a true "old" friend who is wanting to reconnect (these calls I love!). It became a challenge to see how long I could sustain dodging the bait and being reeled in hook, line and sinker.

If your going on a "fishing expedition", here are a few dont's so you can at least save face and your integrity.

DON'T
* Call the person before 8:00 a.m. ever just because you have the time open to talk.
* Assume that the time you do call is a good time for the other person.
* Start the conversation with a bunch of compliments and a longing to reconnect.
* Dive right into questions concerning someones educational background.
* Interrogate the person's business or career and how you can fit in to gain employment .
* Sell the person a product or service at the end of the call. This is TACKY!

When you receive a "fisherman" call, here are a few DO's to help you feel good about not being someone bait.

DO
* Allow the caller a limited time to be engaged in a conversation with you. At least you can be courteous and they won't post a blog about your bad behavior.
* Think before you answer giving limited access of your knowledge.
* Ask more questions than the caller .
* Keep the subject matter to family, friends, church or hobbies .
* Be kind but get off the call quickly. The caller obviously is interested only in themselves and has bigger internal issues they should be dealing with.
* Recommend books like Dale Carnegie's "How To Win Friends And Influence People". It can go something like this "Hey, I am reading xxx, have you heard of it?".

At some point you will need to step back and think about your relationship with the caller. They are using your friendship as a way to seek professional paid advice for free instead of fee. Some people think that all of their friends are their personal free paid board of directors: therapist, doctors, lawyer, business or career consultants, hairdressers. They don't have to worry because "My friend is a " and will help me rightsize all my challenges.

I am complimented that someone wants to model themselves, their career or business after what I have accomplished. Just don't make it so obvious. Use your own talents and qualities to be successful.

Sandra Larkin
http://www.lostandfoundlifecoach.com/MediaRoom.htm

Spring Self Renewal

2007-04-10T08:18:00.000-05:00

Spring is in the air .. or so it seems with snow still falling. Through parts of the U.S., we had a taste of spring/summer a few weeks ago then back to cold and snow. It seems that we yearn more for the warmer days when cold ones set in upon us.

And so it is with renewing commitments for spring and summer. We become energized at the possibility of playing outdoors, gardening, swimming or just relaxing. We also commit to changes for the warmer months ahead dieting, exercising, spending more time with the family to name a few. As distractions take us away from our goal, we settle in for another round of missed commitments.

How can we successfully navigate through these new found commitments? Let's start with ...

* Make one commitment ... and only one.
Make one commitment to experience success building your way up to a mounting challenge. Getting use to a new process or way of life takes time. Give yourself permission to accomplish each goal effectively one at a time.

* Take a different perspective
If you've chosen exercise, look at it from the perspective of better health verses losing 20 lbs. Not all commitments are meant to be dealt with straight on but need a different perspective to help motivate us to change slowly.

* Set a minimum
Set a minimum timeframe of what your effort will be. Reaching for the maximum on day #1 will make us feel defeated on day #10 if we don't accomplish some or all of it.

* Track your progress
"Hey, how are you doing with xxxx?". You should be able to answer this question if a friend ask you. Knowing what you have done and where you are in the process helps you keep on the path of change. It also lets you know if we've been a little more aggressive in your goal setting then your current life/career situations can handle.

Spring is a great time to commit to those New Years resolution long forgotten. So you didn't lose 50 lbs in 3 months. It's really ok to start over and make the next 6 months count. Spring is a time of renewal. Be a new you!

Sandra Larkin
http://lostandfoundlifecoach.com/MediaRoom.htm

I Can't Be Sick. I'm Too Busy.

2006-01-06T10:53:00.000-06:00

Like you, I don't have the time to be sick with the flu or something worse. I'm busy managing my business, personal life, health and wellness. But guess what. We all get sick to some degree during the times we are extremely busy.

On an off the week after New Years, I have been battling the flu. One day I'm up out of the bed and the next day I'm back in. I decided during this cycle to take a closer look at what I could learn from this down time and here is what I came up with.

#1 - I needed to think about a few ideas and directions in more detail. This allowed me to get focused to strengthen these solutions. Laying in bed allowed me to not be distracted by any other areas of my life so the solutions came to me with clarity.
#2 - I needed to move off of areas that were not healthy for me to be thinking about. This included relationships I needed to evaluate along with outcomes to problems that probably will never happen. In other words, I cleared my thinking about most things.
#3 - I learned that I have a great life compared to those "people" on soap operas. Wow, they all need a coach to help them with their problems and stay married to one person long enough to have the ink dry on the marriage certificate.
#4 - I learned that my health is important to me and although I do take care of myself with nutrition, exercise and vitamins I could do more.
#5 - I learned that the housework and laundry will wait another day or week or so. Otherwise, someone else in the household will have to do it. I have a great home support system.
#6 - Sometimes being sick allows other people to see how important you are to them and appreciate all that you do.

Most importantly, I learned that everything and everyone can wait another day. I am important to myself and my family.

During your sick moments, take time to heal both physically and emotionally. There is benefit from feeling really bad for a short period of time.

Sandra Larkin
Certified Professional Coach

www.lostandfoundlifecoach.com

Time Management And All That Jazz

2005-12-03T06:08:00.000-06:00

For some reason, right now in my life, I have perfected some time management skills that work for me. I think because I am driven to a cause with a family and social life, I have managed to put together a personal time management system that is getting results. So let me share what I have learned.

As a side note, I am all about balancing work, family and play. Believe it or not, things and people will wait. Everything that everyone needs is not urgent. If urgency is the name of your game right now, you have overcommitted yourself. You need to back pedal and back down rechecking your life and career priorities.

#1. There is a time to multi-task and there is a time not to.
In other words, not every hour of every day should you be doing more than one thing at a time to "get more done". You will burn yourself out and split your focus. Nothing is ever done correctly. Mistakes will be high. You cannot overload your brain with too much multi information sources at the same time. We as humans are not wired that way.

I know of a women who owns an business, employs staff, see clients and manages her family all from inside of her home. Multi everything is the name of the game. Whatever fire is brewing at the time no matter who is present (client, family, ?) gets the attention. Her focus is split in many directions making accomplishment a hard commodity to come by. It distracts and detracts from the other people who rely on her for information and her expertise. She gains an unfavorable reputation the longer this type of lifestyle goes on.

A time to multi-task for me is when I am cooking dinner or getting breakfast. I can do a load of laundry or open mail. But when it comes to the more important people and issues in my life, I concentrate and place my focus and attention solely on that task and person. Others feel heard and validated plus I retain more information making accomplishment quick and easy.

#2. Organize your task time so that 4 hours turns into 8 productive hours.
We have all heard of making a list and checking it twice to see what needs done during today or tomorrow. Really planning out what you need to get done provides a sense of security and direction. Sure we are all going to get side tracked but having some type of direction places us in a control mode instead of letting outside influences control our time and attention.

I personally keep a list of what I need done. When I am working, if another idea or thought comes where I need to put some time or action behind it, I immediately write it down and work it into my week or month (yes month).

#3. Set boundaries
Don't let email, IM, phones calls and life distract you. There is a time and place for all of these influences. The bad news is your in control of them and how they effect your time.

I do not turn on IM if I cannot spend the time "chatting" with one of my buddies. If I don't want to be interrupted, I leave IM down.

On the same note, not all emails have to be answered or opened the first few seconds they hit your mailbox. Learn to pull yourself away from the attraction of opening them when you schedule is more free to devote the time to answering each one with more concentration. You may be missing something important in its content by glazing over instead of really reading it.

With caller id, it makes screening calls under your jurisdiction. When your working on an important task, you can choose to let it go to voicemail or answer the call suggesting a better time to call back. Please, under no circumstance, take calls when a client or customer is present. This is just rude. A business person I know constantly takes calls when customers are present or when important meetings are being held. The message is that the caller is more important than you and what you are meeting about. Plus, a stop in the action impedes progress for everyone. A meeting is a debt of time owed to each of the attendees. Please be respectful of that.

In summary, I can honestly say I get more work out of one hour that I use to. By learning to organize my task better, multi-tasking when appropriate and setting boundaries so my priorities are my focus allows me to be in control of what gets done....and I just plain feel better about it.

Sandra Larkin, CPC
Certified Professional Coach
www.lostandfoundlifecoach.com

Feelings Of Comfort And Stress Reduction

2005-11-15T18:45:00.000-06:00

Feelings of comfort come from one or more of our five senses. Whether it is a song we hear, the taste of a favorite food, the feeling of our favorite clothes, the sight of a loved one, or the smell of garden after a spring rain, comfort stirs our hearts and emotions into a sense of safety and security. We run to special moments in our lives when we encounter any of our 5 senses of comfort memories. This is our hearts safety net for difficult times.

Comfort is defined by the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary (http://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary, 2005) a feeling of relief or encouragement, contented well-being, or a satisfying or enjoyable experience. So how can we begin to experience feelings of comfort in our hectic and stressful day.

As a personal and business coach, I teach my clients to begin to recreate their experiences on paper to have an opportunity to relive them during hectic moments. Some would call this journaling but I like to keep it simple with a few sentences known as memory joggers. Start by listing all five of the senses and begin writing quick notes as you experience comfort in each sense. As an example, the smell of someone smoking a pipe reminds me of my father who passed away. The sound of a clothes dryer running at night (no this is not odd) reminds me of safety and security in my childhood home. The feeling of clean sheets on a bed just gives me an overall comfort of well being. See it’s simple. Now you try it.

How can we use the comfort list when our life get hectic? We can pull out the list and remind ourselves that what we are going through will pass. In our past were moments of quite, safety, security and good times. As we go through difficult periods, these memory joggers become our safety net to see us through. Stress is a part of the daily life of every living creature. Fortunately, we as humans have ways to manage this stress level as we can control our response, actions and behaviors. Here are three ways to help reduce your stress and help you manage around your critical life moments.

Keep in check your expectation level. You may be surprised at what you think is important to other people. Make sure you are not masking your own level of expectation onto another person or situation.
Christmas is a time where we want to give our families a “Martha Stewart” kind of experience with all the trimmings, gourmet food choices and decorations beyond our wildest dreams. This can come with a price as our stress level is heightened to prepare everything to perfection. If you sat down with your family, is this what really matters to them or would they be satisfied with little more than a perfect Christmas but being able to enjoy the entire holiday season with you.

Identify what drains and replenishes you emotionally and find the middle ground between the two.
When our emotional reserves are depleted our perspective is weakened and our energy is zapped. When our emotional bank is depleted, we need to begin to make more deposits to gain our perspective back to a healthy level. We need to understand exactly what people or events withdraw energy from us and which deposit or recharge our emotions. Once we have identified this list, we can break it down into what we can and cannot control. The things we cannot control, we need to find ways to help us manage through these issues. Finding the middle ground between these issues will help us not to go into an extreme imbalance on one end or the other but stay consistent.

Balance the different types of people in our life.
There are three types of people in our lives. Those that refresh us and those that drain us and those that are neutral. We need to balance these relationships so we do not have extremes in any one place. The trick is not to have more drainers than replenishers in our life. The other trick is to be careful how we choose to spend time with these different type so people. We need to spend a large portion of our time with those who refresh, listen and invest time in our relationship. Don’t dump your friends. Learn to identify where each of them fit in and begin to manage around them.

When stressful people, situations or life challenges happen, pull our your comfort list. Be taken back to a time where is was safe and begin to dig out of your situation from this secure place. In the end, this helps to clear our mind of the negative and helps you see clearly a new direction, or twist on an old problem.

Sandra Larkin
http://www.lostandfoundlifecoach.com/

How's Your Competition Barometer?

2005-11-12T21:23:00.000-06:00

Competition can be stressful or a blessing depending on how high your “competition barometer” is elevated.

Competition is defined as “the act or process of competing :rivalry: as the effort of two or more parties acting independently to secure the business of a third party by offering the most favorable terms (Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, www.m-w.com/dictionary/competition, November 2005)

I do not believe in competition. What? That’s crazy. Is it? I stand on my own professional business experience, how I treat my clients and associates, my own intelligence and creativity, my recommendations as well as my integrity and character in the business world. My “competition” does not have the same experiences or business setup as I do nor do I have what they offer. Sure, we offer the same product or service but what are you really buying as a consumer when two people have the same identical product to offer? The product, the service, the professional experience or the person who can deliver all of the above. The one you feel most comfortable and safe with your money, associates and clients. It's the total package.

In my opinion, competition will show your barometer and your “fear factor”. A low competition barometer will show fear that my self, as the salesman or business owner, does not have what it takes to be successful in a sea of similar products or services. Fear that I cannot sell my services because they will see I lack self-confidence or I am a fraud. Fear that I cannot be as good as or better than the guy who is in the trade booth next to me... On the flipside, if I have a high competition barometer I welcome my competitors. I want to be involved with their business in a 50,000 foot way. I want to possibly team up with their strengths and mine so we both can benefit. Multiple strengths create more than profit not loss for each party.

Raise your self-confidence, reduce your fear. Learn to love and learn from your competitors. Then recheck your “competition barometer” and see how much business has been attracted to you when your on the high side.

Oh, one more thing…competitors…don’t steal my ideas. That’s another story…and not a competition issue.

Sandra
www.lostandfoundlifecoach.com

Lies and Coverups

2005-11-12T09:47:00.000-06:00

I came across a surprising revelation that took years to develop and manage until its death a few months ago. Its called a "true friendship". Surprising and hurtful yet revealing to what degrees people will go to coverup who they really are. Surprising again that my friend would cutoff 100% contact with me after I discovered that alot of his/her life was a fraud.

As a professional life and business coach, I assist people everyday to go from the extreme of coverup to true life revelation being able to live with themselves in a positive and safe environment. But when I was "snowed" over a period of years, wow, what a surprise. Should I have seen this coming? Sad not for me but for my "true friend" to loose a wonderful, open and caring relationship ...and a professional coach to help them to boot.

Lies and coverups take many directions. This is an exhausting way to live as you need to keep an account of who you told what to and why. Also, if there are fictitious people involved, to get their names and life experiences straight. I can't imagine living inside of this box. Bouncing around from one story to the next. The brain is in constant motion and thinking and clarity are skewed. There is no peace inside of yourself, your job or your relationships.

The friendship ended abruptly by my friend after I discovered the truth. I became a mirror to him/her of their real life truth and the extent of the spider web that they had weaved themselves into. Sad, since I had no intention of leaving the friendship but it was out of my control. Instead of my not wanting to have anything to do with them it was the other way around.

Lies and coverups take mental and physical energy from us and everyone else who is involved. They create a life of illusion and importance in which you are its king or queen. You will bow down to this life and be its slave the longer it continues. And with no easy way out, you become its castle to live in.

My advice to you as a life coach is, to identify your lies and coverups and begin to live a real and authentic life. You will be surprised at how people will forgive you and still want to maintain a relationship for the real you and your real life. You will find that you don't have to measure up to anyone but your own standards. If you haven't reached your "standard success", a coach, like myself, is able to help you reach whatever success you desire in life. Whether it be relationships, community, career or personal goals.

Don't live a life of lies and coverups to please other peoples standards or a part of our society that says we need to be this way or that. Be yourself with your own unique talents and abilities or get help in moving towards getting them.

http://lostandfoundlifecoach.com