Gone Fishing

I received a call from an "old" friend the other day. Someone I hadn't spoken to in a number of months. About 2 minutes into the conversation, I realized it was a "fishing expedition". In other words, a conversation that was initiated to gain information for the betterment of the caller. It's intention of keeping in touch was a false front to a bigger motive ... to gain FREE information so no payment is required. We have all been on the other ends of these calls. They are obvious unlike a true "old" friend who is wanting to reconnect (these calls I love!). It became a challenge to see how long I could sustain dodging the bait and being reeled in hook, line and sinker.

If your going on a "fishing expedition", here are a few dont's so you can at least save face and your integrity.

DON'T
* Call the person before 8:00 a.m. ever just because you have the time open to talk.
* Assume that the time you do call is a good time for the other person.
* Start the conversation with a bunch of compliments and a longing to reconnect.
* Dive right into questions concerning someones educational background.
* Interrogate the person's business or career and how you can fit in to gain employment .
* Sell the person a product or service at the end of the call. This is TACKY!

When you receive a "fisherman" call, here are a few DO's to help you feel good about not being someone bait.

DO
* Allow the caller a limited time to be engaged in a conversation with you. At least you can be courteous and they won't post a blog about your bad behavior.
* Think before you answer giving limited access of your knowledge.
* Ask more questions than the caller .
* Keep the subject matter to family, friends, church or hobbies .
* Be kind but get off the call quickly. The caller obviously is interested only in themselves and has bigger internal issues they should be dealing with.
* Recommend books like Dale Carnegie's "How To Win Friends And Influence People". It can go something like this "Hey, I am reading xxx, have you heard of it?".

At some point you will need to step back and think about your relationship with the caller. They are using your friendship as a way to seek professional paid advice for free instead of fee. Some people think that all of their friends are their personal free paid board of directors: therapist, doctors, lawyer, business or career consultants, hairdressers. They don't have to worry because "My friend is a " and will help me rightsize all my challenges.

I am complimented that someone wants to model themselves, their career or business after what I have accomplished. Just don't make it so obvious. Use your own talents and qualities to be successful.

Sandra Larkin
http://www.lostandfoundlifecoach.com/MediaRoom.htm